Last Christmas
by Ladyhawk-s
Summary: "Last Christmas, I gave you my heart But the very next day you gave it away This year, to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special" Or a story where Majima reminisces giving his heart to Kiryu last Christmas but seeing it given away the next day.


_**i contemplated for a long time if i should edit this and then decided to yolo it and peace out because im lowkey tired of seeing this in my google drive plus im like a day late for Christmas and Disney has taken my life with family so just take it, im tired /EfscwvbfbxA I had listened to this while working on my ykz ss and then i had this brilliant idea and tried to write a fic based on not only the lyrics but the vibe it had, hence why Majima is drunk af through most of this fic. i tried but like i aint the best so idk how i did. ask me in 5 years for a rewrite and maybe ill be able to do it better. i tried to make it non linear but i can barely write linear so *shrugs* take this unedited pile of garbage. heck and happy holidays 8)))**_

Majima was stupid. He was a fucking fool. A clown. A stupid idiot that might as well worked at a circus.

Why the fuck did he put himself through this shit again? It was only a few years back that his boss, Futoshi Shimano, grabbed his heart and twisted it until it wrung out all the emotion devoid inside. Makoto Makimura was his first love yet Shimano managed to make an ass out of him. Making the decision to have her walk away killed any remaining sanity left in him and he vowed never to go down that path again.

Love was for losers. Love was for idiots. Love was for people who believed that the world was filled with hope and pretended that negativity was just a myth.

But he learned the hard way with Makoto. Love was only a means to be weak, thoughtless, encapsed with stupidity. So he gave up on it.

Until Kiryu came into his life.

Fuck.

FUCK.

Majima loved Kiryu.

Majima hated Kiryu.

Majima wanted to kiss Kiryu.

Majima wanted to gut Kiryu alive.

Why the fuck did everything have to happen during Christmas time?

Walking down the street, he could feel the cold air tingle against his skin but his temperature didn't drop. Alcohol burst a flame in his stomach. His veins scorched his insides. He wanted to peel off the tan skin off his limbs and press frigid ice between the masses of his muscles and bones.

But he wasn't going to do that. He might have been drunk but there was still some bit of his brain left. Only a little bit. Just enough to keep his legs moving forward.

Where was he going anyways? Maybe somewhere cold or a place where he could roam free without a jacket squeezing his arms against the snake pattern.

The funny thing is, Majima could hold his liquor. Very well actually. An industry built on the foundation of serving people's inhibited desires did that. But tonight, he just kept chugging and chugging and chugging and…..

There was no one to stop him and so he didn't.

"_Majima-no-niisan, why did you call me here? What's going on?" _

Oh fuck, not this again.

"_Nothin' Kiryu-chan, just wanted to see yer face again." _

No. No. No.

"_You see my face everyday. We're part of the same family."_

"_So?" _

"_So, then that's not a reason to send me worrying messages. I dropped everything and came over as soon as I could because of the way they sounded. Don't do that to me."_

Shit. Why the fuck was this happening NOW!?

Majima's body collided with another's.

"Hey man, watch it!"

"Honey, don't start anything-"

"This drunk bastard just hit into me. Hey fucker! Who do you think you are!?"

Foreign fingers gripped his shoulder and yanked him off balance. He stumbled.

But that didn't make him forget who he was.

He was Goro fucking Majima.

"_God, yer so cute when ya worry 'bout me like that, Kiryu-chan." _

"_Majima-no-niisan, this isn't funny." _

"_Well, I sure as shit don't think this is funny too." A hand patted the empty stool. "Come join me." _

"_Majima-no-niisan, it's Christmas. Don't you have family to be with?" _

"_Last time I checked, Kiryu-chan, yer the only family I got outside of bars." He took a heavy swing of his drink, ice clinking against each other. His body turned away from the other. "Listen, if ya really have a problem being here, you can leave. I ain't gonna hold it against ya." _

_Silence. The only thing that Majima could hear was the soft ambient music swimming in his ears and the ticking of a clock pounding his brain in each timed second. Ice pulsed through the glass, glaciers growing smaller in the liquid. _

_Pause._

_Pause. _

_A sigh. A man sits down next to him. "I'll have a whiskey," he calls out to the bartender. _

_Majima looks up. _

_It's his beloved Kiryu-chan next to him. _

"Oh my god! Honey!"

"That man is a monster!"

"Did you see that crazed look in his eye? I swear he's like a demonic animal!"

Drops of blood dripped by his foot, making a starry sky on top of the cement. The red looked pretty against the grey. If he wasn't drunk, maybe he'd actually appreciate it. Or maybe if he wasn't drunk, he wouldn't have stabbed that guy in the first place.

To be fair, it was self defense. And the guy should have known better. If a guy with florals of tattoos on their back by accidentally bumps into someone in a drunken sidestep, chances are one would stay away from them. Not try and pursue them. That guy did the opposite.

What else was Majima supposed to do?

_This time of year always made Majima upset. After what happened with Makoto, he would curl up in the confounds of his mind and curse out any form of contempt. People saw Christmas as a lover's holiday but Majima aborted that notion when his last view of Makoto was with that pansy as fuck doctor. He spent this time swimming in the hallucinations of cocaine and heroin instead of being inside the woman of his dreams. _

_Yet, for the first time since that incident, Majima was actually enjoying Christmas Eve. Kiryu and him shared jests and jabs that mingled with smiles and rough laughter. The more they drank, the more their bodies loosened. The strict muscles that crunched Kiryu's eyebrows relaxed and there was this softness that normally wasn't ever seen due to the stick up his ass. _

_Although to be fair to Kiryu, Majima might not be seeing things in a singular vision. Shots started becoming one too many into the notion that maybe his stomach could handle more and that it wouldn't hurt to just have a couple drinks more. _

_After all, this was fucking Christmas. Man can live a little. _

"_You know, it's funny how things change with only a little bit of time. Can you believe that it was only 3 years ago that we first met?" _

_Majima gave a drunken snort. "Seems like 3 years too many to me to know a lug like ya."_

_Kiryu rolled his eyes and took another swing at his drink. "Is that why you follow me around so much?" _

"_Haw? I thought ya liked that!" _

"_Not particularly." _

"_..." _

"_..." _

"_..."_

"_..."_

"_Hey Kiryu-chan?" Majima finally said, his voice sombering instantly. "Can I ask ya something?" _

_That got Kiryu to sit straighter. "What's going on?" _

"_Can ya answer me truthfully?" _

"_Of course." _

"_..." Majima couldn't bring the question up. His tongue twisted into knots and his eyes stung in a vicious pain. "Is there anything you've ever regretted?" _

Majima regretted drinking all that alcohol. Then and now.

His hand gripped the indents of the brick wall with his shoulders bent onwards. His throat coughed and coughed until acidic contents spilled on the ground in front of him. And then more came out, heaving out his stomach and trying to swallow it back in. It somewhat worked until bile crept on his tongue and joined the mess on the sidewalk. Jeers and unnecessary bubbled around him.

"Wow look at how drunk he is."

"Doesn't he feel ashamed?"

"Well it's Christmas, I'm sure he's sad and alone."

Oh yea, for sure. He _was _sad and alone.

_Kiryu ended up going in depth with his past but Majima couldn't hear half of it. His mind zoned in on his lips, the way his eyes crinkled when he spoke about something unpleasant, his shoulders that rose up and huddled above him to keep him safe from the memories. He was a shit person with shit responses but he couldn't help it. _

_After a while, Kiryu stopped his spiel and tension blasted between them. Majima didn't mean for it to get this awkward but his fleeting thought didn't think that far so that was the end result. He tried to bring up other lighter topics but Kiryu shut them down. Majima wanted to hurl himself off the second floor. Kiryu came all the way through the blistering cold to please his drunken ass and stayed to answers that Majima couldn't properly speak towards. And now Kiryu probably regretted ordering the drink and wished that he stayed with the comforts of old friends. _

_Majima had to fix this. But ...how….._

_Overhead, Christmas melodies played and echoed within the bar. Majima hadn't paid attention to them since entering but with the strained silence, he finally managed to put some thought into it and….it actually sounded nice. Like really nice. His leg bounced up and down to the beat of it, the tempo pulsating in his core. He couldn't understand a lick of what was being said but that didn't matter when it came to music. _

_Music could felt in the soul. _

_Drunkenly, he grabbed Kiryu's forearm and mischievously smiled at the other. Kiryu waved in his vision so he couldn't gauge what his facial features transformed to. Thank god for alcohol kicking his confidence in. "Let's dance, Kiryu-chan." _

_Kiryu's head jerked. "What?"_

"_Ya heard me. Let's dance." _

"_Majima-no-niisan, where did that come from?"_

"_Does it matter? Plus, we've been sittin' on this stool for too long and we gotta move our asses a bit."_

"_And that means to dance?" _

"_Hell fuckin' yea!"_

_Kiryu didn't respond to that. The little bubble of excitement deflated in Majima's chest. Fuck did he ruin shit again? God he was fuckin' hopeless at this point. Maybe he should go home and go through the stash his boys curated for him-_

"_Ok, Majima-no-niisan. But only because it's Christmas and I haven't danced in a long time. It might be a nice change of pace and you're right, it'll be good to move around a bit."_

With all the alcohol Majima ingested, a bar would be the last place that he should have gone to. At this point, after all the vomiting and stumblings, he should have called one of his boys to whisk him off his feet and drag him back to his castle where he could wake up the next morning in pixie dust and magic.

But that's where he ended up at.

Unlike the crisp air outside that chilled his skin, it was stuffy and warm, thawing the ice feeling he gained. Inside the bar, people were talking and laughing but they didn't sound clear in his head. Their voices pounded in his ears. Their giggles deepening and meshing. Majima felt his head submerged underwater and everything swayed. Nothing stayed constant. If he stepped the wrong way, he probably would have stumbled onto the hard wooden floors. Ah well, it looked like others were plastered too. Maybe he wouldn't stand out as much.

He outstretched his arm to reach the bar and guided himself into a stool. A balancing act ensued until he managed to properly prop himself against the bar.

"Hello sir, what can I get for you tonight?" The bartender asked, though Goro could barely register his question. It was as if his voice tried to speak in the depths of water.

"Y-yea, I'll take a sake," Majima responded, his mind believing that he said that in the most normal voice he could muster. But instead, the bartender looked at him quizzically, questioning the morality of the question. "What're ya waitin' for?" Majima snapped back, his face feeling like it crunched under the scowl. The bartender bowed his waist and ran off, leaving Majima at the bar to swim out of the waves of noise surrounding him.

"Kiryu, c'mon! It's Christmas!"

"Yea, Kazuma, just go for it!"

Oh fuck, oh no, no no no no.

"Not you too Yumi."

"Well someone has to pressure you! You're way too rigid!"

Fucking SHIT. Of all places too!

Why the _FUCK _was he here!?

"_Jeez. Majima-no-niisan, you have two left feet." _

"_Haw? Wanna say that again, punk?" _

"_I don't have to. I'm practically holding you up." _

_Ok that statement was true. They initially tried dancing separately with moves from the discos. Kiryu managed to succeed, enough to the point where a young girl threw him a fan that landed a stellar finishing move. _

_Majima, on the other hand, had the ability to do backflips but couldn't stand on his two feet without stumbling. When there was a faster paced song, Majima tried to impress Kiryu with moves from his breakdancing phase but instead, twisted into himself and crashed onto the floor. It was an act that really shouldn't have happened in front of Kiryu but it did and all Majima could do was laugh at himself like a maniac. _

_Fortunately, Majima's inhibitions were completely whacked and Kiryu managed to pick him up from the floor without looking too much like an embarrassment. _

_And it seemed like fate too since a slower holiday song played and Majima begged enough to slow dance that Kiryu sighed and accepted. Which led to the current moment. _

_Majima's arms hung over Kiryu's shoulders and he was close enough to rest his head onto the crevice of his body. He could feel Kiryu's body heat against his bare skin, the musk smell of his cologne comforting Majima's woes. His eye closed. This was what dreams were made out of. He was so sure of that as he laid against the other. Kiryu spoke to him but Majima couldn't understand him. It was as if his mind synced with the music and made him float high into the clouds, mingling with the lights that surrounded the city. _

"Alright," Kiryu said in that conceding voice he had when he knew he couldn't win a match like this.

Majima glanced over and saw Kiryu in the corner of his eye. He held a shot glass in his hand with a mysterious liquid that had taints of red of in. In a swift motion, he downed it and had to shake his head that came with a loud gasp. Majima could hear it all the way from the back.

"_Majima-no-niisan? Are you ok?" _

"_Mmmmmm…." _

_Majima couldn't speak back and he really didn't want to. He was so…..warm….._

_Majima wasn't sure what washed over him and he really didn't care why it happened but he leaned into Kiryu and kissed him. It might not have been as eloquent as others he's done but that didn't matter. _

_He was kissing Kiryu-chan. _

_Boy did he love him. _

_Majima's lips slowly pulled away with only a few centimeters to the other's. "I love ya Kiryu-chan." _

"_Majima-no-niisan-"_

"_Thanks for making this a pretty fuckin' amazin' Christmas. I love ya," he slurred back before he continued to kiss Kiryu. _

_Oh fuck was he drunk but alcohol wasn't the only thing contributing to it. _

"Holy shit, you did it Kiryu!"

"I'm surprised Kazuma! I didn't expect you to actually do it!"

"You two hounded me. I didn't have much of a choice."

"Kiryu, you always have a choice."

"Shut it Nishiki."

The three of them laughed between them, Kiryu actually smiling and not having that crumple by his eyebrows. It was so peaceful not to see him in that antagonist face he had. Being in the yakuza hardened him but in this moment, he looked human.

The other two he was with came closer to him and patted his shoulder. Majima recognized them immediately. The one with black hair part in the middle was Akira Nishikiyama, the fool that tried to fight him when he was searching for Makoto years back.

And he didn't know the girl that was with them but he recognized her immediately.

She was that girl from that night.

_As far as Majima was concerned, the day after Christmas was far worse than the actual holiday itself. At least on Christmas, Majima's mind ceased to exist for a few hours. He didn't have to worry about anything except for the swirling colors that he could hear as walls tempered with his vision. _

_However, the next day was when the high crashes. It was when his body came down into a well of shadow and shame, breaking down the muscles used to move. It hurt and hurt and hurt and he wanted to bury the pain with more alcohol but he couldn't do that. Not when he could barely get out of bed and couldn't keep his insides in check. Majima was a man, he could take care of it. _

_So late into the night was when Majima chugged enough water to get himself at least moving. Boys from his family called earlier, saying that his presence was needed so he had to make an effort to show his face. At least maybe seeing the plastered look on his face would garnish some sympathy. _

_On the streets, he dragged his feet against the cement ground, skidding along the path. His eye could barely stay open, especially with the glare of the lights flashing down on it. Even his head started to pain him, sounds thumping hard against his temple and beating down on him like a drum. _

_All sorts of voices intertwined together as he kept going along. Conversations had no meaning to him. The surrounding people were just like faceless mannequins. _

_Except there was a particular voice that stood out amongst the others. _

_Albeit, Majima couldn't hear it very well and a female voice accompanied it so he couldn't be quite sure it was the same. So he turned his head to the source. _

_And that's when he saw them. _

_Kiryu in a store with a girl wrapped in his arms, holding him tight against him. He gave her the same smile he had the night before and she reciprocated in that fine face she had. She was beautiful and didn't look like emotional baggage came after her. _

_And then, Kiryu leaned down…._

_And she rose on the tips of her toes….._

_And they kissed….._

The girl looked the same from that night except more makeup powered her face. He could see why Kiryu was attracted to her. She looked like a sweet girl that had her head on her shoulders. Kiryu never spoke about her but Majima didn't blame him. It was under that same foundation that he let Makoto go. Yakuza were dangerous men that could destroy loved ones in a snap. And to be fair, Majima was drunk when he kissed Kiryu. His mind could only remember clearly that moment and not a second more.

But that didn't mean it didn't hurt like a little bitch.

Majima kept stealing glances towards the group, wondering if Kiryu would recognize him in this crowd. He tried to keep a considerable distance away but his eye couldn't remove himself away.

Kiryu mesmerized him.

Kiryu angered him.

Kiryu made Majima feel emotions that he never wanted to feel again.

Why….why did Majima have to be a fool for him?

Suddenly, Kiryu looked up and met with his eye. Majima's body froze. His eye locked onto his eyes. Realization flashed through Kiryu and it was clear that he knew who Majima was. Or, more specifically, what Majima did last year.

He could see muttering words to the two others with his hands on his knees. His stance to get up.

Majima couldn't handle that. At least not when he was induced in an alcoholic state that could make him incoherent in any second. He managed to avoid Kiryu all year and just _now _he had to come across him?

Fuck, he needed to get out of here.

He couldn't wait for his drink anymore. He needed to move.

_Now. _

Maybe the bartender called out to him, maybe others looked at him but he couldn't focus on that. Majima moved from the stool and stumbled through the mess of the crowd. He tumbled and skittered across.

_He needed to move_.

Fuck, if he had known that Kiryu would have been at this bar, he would have passed out in the comforts of his bed.

Fuck. Fuck. _Fuck. _

He managed to get outside. The cold air slapped his face. His feet moved.

Oh.

His foot snagged on a crack.

And he dropped to the ground to-

_Black. _

—-

"Excuse me? Are you ok?"

A small voice pierced in his head. A splitting headache occurred and he groaned out in pain. Acid boiled in his throat and he immediately shot awake to turn his body to retch out those contents. Fine fingers pushed back his hair while he continued to cough out onto the ground. Whispers of "it's ok, it's ok" cooed in his ears.

Eventually, he gave out one last hack before everything settled down. Deep breaths turned into gasps, his chest heaving up and down. Soon, his breathing resumed and he looked up at the girl there.

"...Makoto?" He softly asked, his eye widening in disbelief and horror.

She shook her head. "No, my name is Park Mirei. Are you ok?"

Majima nodded his head and tried to lift himself before crashing back down to the ground. Mirei reached forward and held onto his arms to keep from completely falling. "Doesn't sound like you're ok. Here," she scooped her arms under his armpits and pulled him up to his feet, Majima leaning against her like the poor drunken sap he was. "Let's go somewhere quite alright?"

Majima lollied his head. "Thank ya…."

Mirei smiled up at him. "Of course, plus you're going to have to owe me a lot for this when you're sober."

Majima scoffed. "Huh, and how are ya goin' do that?"

She gave a sly smile. "I have my ways." Mirei shifted around to help Majima lay his arm across her shoulders and they started slowly moving down the street, body heat radiating against each other. He kept tumbling into her but she didn't seem. In fact, she gave a cute little laugh that made his heart give a silly flutter.

"What're ya doin' in a shitty area like this? Yer too cute for this," Majima asked, his question slurring against the compliment.

"Well, I'm a singer and I happened to be in the area singing some songs for a few of the bars here."

"Hmph, ya must not be good if yer doin' gigs here."

"That's a bold statement, especially considering the position you're in now."

"Well, maybe ya just gotta prove it to me."

She gave a small snicker. "Alright, I'll sing for you. But only if you cooperate with me to get somewhere a little quieter. Sounds good?"

"Like a plan."

"Good." Mirei looked up with big brown eyes that glistened in the light. "What's your name by the way?"

"It's Majima Goro."

"Well it's nice to meet you Majima."

Little specs of conversation floated between them. There were giggles and flirtatious laughter. Something about Mirei was different.

Of course, his mind occasionally would run to Kiryu but he tried to rid that thought. It was easier said than done but he had to. Kiryu had a sweetheart that he loved more than Majima. He made that clear last year.

Plus, under his arm was a cute girl. A very cute girl.

Maybe….just maybe….he could give his heart to her this Christmas.


End file.
